I was often told as a child not to do to others what you don’t want others do to you, and I couldn’t agree more. But, what if something not that pleasant was done to me by my dearest ones? We often hear “who digs a pit…” you know the rest, but in a real life we see that the concerned ones don’t necessarily fall in it. How many times have you done the right thing, and got the short end of the stick anyway?
Every woman has at lest once in her life experienced disappointment in love. Some will perhaps wave their hand saying they’ve got everything under control, maybe they will not even remember their first love, but will the most painful one? How many times have you cried, whined and repeated to yourself “he’ll see” to finally end up with “Mr perfect”, and this one, everything but perfect. One thing is certain, woman is weak when she is in love. A man may hurt us, but this nevertheless stops us from waiting all day long by our phone hoping to hear it ringing while we let our thoughts wonder to and fro thinking – is he sorry, will he return with the right words of sorry… And so days pass by so in the end making us ready to forgive, regardless of what he says! Or worse, we take the first step and end up even more hurt than before. If only we would appreciate ourselves a little bit more, we wouldn’t even stumbled upon such a nitwit, but here we are, having met a person who would take the stars from the sky for us and then run away like a rabbit into his hole…
Now we must say to ourself – it’s over! The past cannot be returned, the better, what use from someone who only knows how to hurt people who love him? Therefore, love yourself first and the others will love you back. And the most importantly, seek for the love inside you. If you feel “empty” inside, how can you give others what’s worth? In that way not only you raise your expectations, but in the end get a bigger disappointment. But, what is done, is done, and the break-up is here, so instead of sitting in front of a television eating a bunch of candies while your gaze is drawn to a cellular phone, ask yourself a question – what good I have from all this? The result will be five kilograms more the second time you happen to ran into each other in the street. After you had a good cry, smashed everything could be smashed in your house and enabled your nearby store to make a profit out of your misery, it is time to make a change. Not you, but your attitude and the negative opinion you have about you and the situation in which you are currently in.
Here are some useful tips that could come in handy:
1. Get rid of all the little painful things, hide them somewhere in the attic where they couldn’t constantly remind you of the history.
2. Get yourself busy at work, and you will simply not have time to think about negative stuff. If some chance for a vacation happens to come across, take it and go with your friends and enjoy. Vacation is not a getaway, but a pastime.
3. Register at a nearby gym or a group aerobic to acquire a perfect body figure and new acquaintances. If you opt for a gym, bear in mind nice looking trainers who will guide you through the gym and its programme.
4. Do not visit places where you can meet, you know whom. He doesn’t need his ego to be raised more than it already is, does he?
5. It is often said “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” We need to learn how to control our emotions. You see, it is likely that in your bad times some good times start to bring back to memory in addition to all the nice words and moments spent together. But we don’t need his flattering words to make us realize how beautiful and smart we really are, it’s not that he has discovered something new to us. Anyway, sooner or later, he’ll realize that he wasn’t even aware of what he had.
6. Visit your hair-dresser and dress yourself up. When you look good, you feel good too. I believe Coco Chanel said it best – “I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little – if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny. And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”
7. Gather your friends and go out, dance as much as you like, chat with your friends, have some cocktail… And if you have followed these tips, you are already half-way to return your self-esteem and have probably become the object of men’s interest.
8. Everyone’s favourite Facebook… Unless you have already removed him from your friends’ list, don’t do it now either. Don’t let him see how you feel after your break-up and don’t post photos immediately afterwards from different events because that would be too obvious. Diplomatically, don’t post anything – the less he knows, the more intrigued he will be.
9. And so, after certain time, you’ll realize that you haven’t been thinking on your ex for days and he would probably feel more embarrassing than you if you do meet by accidence.
You’ll look upon this relationship as a lesson, because, if it had been worth something, it would have lasted, and whatever is once broken, can hardly be the same as before.
A. Vukušić